Movie blog

Four Jack-the-lads find themselves heavily - seriously heavily - in debt to an East End hard man and his enforcers after a crooked card game. Overhearing their neighbours in the next flat plotting to hold up a group of out-of-their-depth drug growers, our heros decide to stitch up the robbers in turn. In a way the confusion really starts when a pair of antique double-barrelled shotguns go missing in a completely different scam.

The great grand niece of Jesus Christ is enlisted to prevent two angels from reentering Heaven and thus undoing the fabric of the universe. Along the way, she is aided by two prophets, Jay and Silent Bob. With the help of Rufus, the 13th Apostle, they must stop those who stand in their way and prevent the angels from entering Heaven.

Reformed thief Cade Foster discovers that aliens are among us in the form of genetic clones, intent on enslaving the population. To assess the human potential to fight back, they gather data from 117 test subjects. When Foster remembers the tests conducted on him, the aliens frame him for his wife’s murder. Pursued by the police and a mysterious government agent, Foster discovers the quatrains of Nostradamus, which tells of three waves which will destroy the planet, unless a “twice blessed man” can stop them. Aided by a quirky cyber-journalist, Foster investigates strange occurrences which have ties to Nostradamus’ quatrains, hoping to find what he needs to forestall the aliens’ plans.

The Simpsons are a dysfunctional family living in Springfield. Homer, the man of the house, is a safety inspector at the Nuclear Power Plant. Homer constantly spends most of his time at Moe’s Tavern getting drunk. Marge is a hard-working housewife of three children. Bart is a clever 10 year old who loves pranking others. Lisa is the genius of the Simpson family. She recieves very excellent grades in school. She is the most trusted person in school and a “principal’s pet”. Maggie is the youngest. Maggie has not spoken yet. The Simpsons get themselves in some crazy adventures. In fact, they are getting in maybe about 10,000 adventures by the time the show ends in 2010.

Malcolm in the Middle follows a dysfunctional family in an anonymous location. The family is headed by super-stressed supermom Lois, and eccentric child-at-heart Hal. The eldest son, Francis, once a wild youth, now lives on a ranch with his wife, Piama. Next in line is dimwitted ne’r-do-well Reece. Second youngest emerging genius and evil mind in the making Dewey, and baby Jamie, already a troublemaker, is the youngest. Smack in the middle is Malcolm, a moody certified genius who seems to be the only hope his family has. Since his discovery at the age of eleven, Malcolm has been his own worst enemy - though he’ll tell you that his family is his worst enemy.

A hotel by the sea is run by a stressed and moronic lunatic who can’t seem to please his guest, has a shaky marriage with a cruel and self-centered woman, and a Spanish porter who can barely speak English. Fortunately he has an intelligent and attractive maid to help him out of the various situations he gets into.

The second war against the Cylons is over and The Twelve Colonies have been destroyed. Now Commander Adama of the Battlestar Galatica and President Laura Roslin lead a ragtag fleet of refugees in a supposed search for the fabled lost thirteenth colony, Earth. However, the dangers they face are many which compound an already difficult situation. In addition to the Cylons hunting and attacking the fleet in space, their infiltrator units carry out a more subtle plot even as their former unwitting pawn, Gaius Baltar, helps in the hunt for them while hiding both his own guilt and the strange presence that haunts his every thought. If that wasn’t enough, the fleet also faces internal political conflict in which the rabble-rousing figure, Tom Zarek, is merely the loudest dissenting voice. In the midst of these trials however, clues begin to appear that suggest that Adama’s simple bluff about Earth may be more truthful than anyone could have guessed.

Dante Hicks is a clerk at a local convenience store in New Jersey. On one particular Saturday morning, he gets called in on his day off. Once there, he must deal with multiple problems. The shutters outside won’t open. His ex-girlfriend, whom he is still in love with, is getting married. His girlfriend, who bugs him about starting college, has revealed certain, uh…stuff about her past. His boss hasn’t come in to take his place. He has a hockey game at 2 o’clock. Another ex has died, and today’s the last day he can go to her wake. He must deal with customers that aren’t so intelligent. His friend, Randal, a clerk at the video store next door, is even less dedicated to his job than Dante, and is always bothering Dante’s customers. And the biggest problem of them all: HE’S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE TODAY!! Can Dante manage it all?

The movie starts out with Arthur, King of the Britons, looking for knights to sit with him at Camelot. He finds many knights including Sir Galahad the pure, Sir Lancelot the brave, the quiet Sir Bedevere, and Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir Lancelot. They do not travel on horses, but pretend they do and have their servants bang coconuts to make the sound of horse’s hooves. Through satire of certain events in history (witch trials, the black plague) they find Camelot, but after literally a quick song and dance they decide that they do not want to go there. While walking away, God (who seems to be grumpy) come to them from a cloud and tells them to find the Holy Grail. They agree and begin their search…

A normal, average guy who lives in New York City becomes dependent on an evil, disembodied brain. The brain feeds the guy a narcotic substance in exchange for his unwilling assistance in obtaining the brains of innocent victims for sustenance. This turns into a tour of circa-1980s underground NYC clubs, backlots, and other seedy locations. One scene features the band Swimming Pool Cues playing the song “Corruption.”

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is the first film in the Harry Potter series based off the novels by J.K. Rowling. It is the tale of Harry Potter, an ordinary 11-year-old boy serving as a sort of slave for his aunt and uncle who learns that he is actually a wizard and has been invited to attend the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry is snatched away from his mundane existence by Hagrid, the grounds keeper for Hogwarts, and quickly thrown into a world completely foreign to both him and the viewer. Famous for an incident that happened at his birth, Harry makes friends easily at his new school. He soon finds, however, that the wizarding world is far more dangerous for him than he would have imagined, and he quickly learns that not all wizards are ones to be trusted.

A strange cloud descends upon Klingon vessels and eradicates them with an energy bolt. The Epsilon IX space station alerts the Federation, but they too are wiped out by the entity. The starship assigned to the case is, what else, the NCC-1701. That would be the registration number for the U.S.S. Enterprise, which has been rebuilt. Thus, the entire original crew you knew from the TV show returns. Although they are prepared to face the entity, nothing will prepare them for the ride to come. The film asks the question Paul Gauguin asks in a painting bearing this name: “Where do [I] come from? What [am I]? Where [am I] going?” Trekkers, note the appearance of Will Decker, the son of Matt Decker, who killed himself in the TV episode, “The Doomsday Machine”. The film can be summed up in a single word: beautiful.

Imagine you’re leading a six man squad on a routine army exercise. You’re behind enemy lines. Your radio doesn’t work. You’re cut off and on foot in a vast, hostile wilderness. You hear somthing howling in the distance. Something’s out there.. and it’s hungry. Very hungry. And hairy.. very hairy. The sun is going down. And there’s a full moon. You’re missing the most important football match of the decade. And there’s every chance that you’re about to be eaten alive by a pack of vicious, snarling, blood-lusting, seven-foot tall werewolves. What do you do?

A chronicle of the early days of James T. Kirk and his fellow USS Enterprise crew members.